It is good to remember seminarians, (some of whom are priests today) the Religious and lay adults wounded by sexual abuse and exploitation by clerics.
What help, if any, has been given to the (now) priest victims of McCarrick or to the Sisters so badly abused by Rupnik?
The dissolution of the Ignatius Community by Rome hurt more than helped those Sisters. To whom shall they go?
Some seminarians and those in formation have left the Church over lack of interest and response by bishops and Superiors.
This involves not even the willingness to listen to those wounded.
The attitude seems to be "You're a priest or Religious, get over it and pray it away."
I personally have witnessed two bishops, (in separate circumstances), who on hearing personal stories of abuse by clerics perpetrated on seminarians or Religious simply "ghost" the stories. They seemed not to hear what was told to them. It was like the stories had never been spoken.
While the bishops were not the Ordinaries of the priests involved, as many situations were historical cases, the lack of compassion, whether from revulsion or "compassion fatigue" contributes to the festering of wounds.
One Sister left such a conversation in tears. Fortunately, while the bishop ignored her recounting of her experience newly elected Superiors listened (as previous ones did not). These true "Mothers" comforted and got Sister counselling. These Superiors gathered other Sisters to accompany the Sister who suffered the abuse.
Lack of listening and worse, ignoring the suffering, is not helpful for healing; anger and pain remains.
I wonder whether the "compassion fatigue" is in part the result of having (or acting like they have) nothing to offer except compassion.
How many clerics/religious/laymen are aware of what is needed to heal or how the healing process goes? If the attitude is "get over it and pray it away", you can be pretty sure those people haven't got a clue, but likewise if the only thing offered is "I am so sorry". It's really tiring to be compassionately impotent, especially if you have reason to think you ought to do more.
Bishops and priests are spiritual fathers, not management. It seems like they ought to know something about binding up wounds, even if they aren't trauma experts. And if they don't know, given that the country has upwards of 1 in 4 people who've been sexually abused at this point, probably they should learn.
That's so odd, and I'm trying to pattern-match (against pathologies I have met) in order to understand, but failing. Are these bishops who seem otherwise mentally healthy and who seem able to experience empathy in most other circumstances? I guess it doesn't matter whether I understand, since (this is the crazy thing about prayer) there is technically nothing that I can do that I would be able to do better by understanding.
Victim-survivors abused as adults have told me that Victim Assistance Coordinators have not been prepared to assist them. Some progress has been made in reaching out to those abused as children - there's much work to do in preventing abuse of adults and supporting their healing.
My diocese had a day where all the parishes talked about it and encouraged abuse victims to contact the appropriate person in our diocese. My deacon encouraged me to call, so I did. They told me to call child protective services so I did.
I think we have to have some compassion for bishops and priests who are confronted with the sex abuse scandal constantly.
You mentioned that it was in a public place , probably after Mass when many people are waiting to speak to a bishop and that the abusers were not under the direction of that bishop.
We all have to be sensitive to time and place when discussing personal wounds and problems, and we can not tell every person or priest we meet about them.
I am sure many priest and bishops feel the strain of trying to address these wounds in a charitable and pastoral way.
I imagine abuse victims get a “not the time or place” response quite often. Access to a conversation with a bishop or someone in a position to reach the competent authority might only be in such a public setting.
It is good to remember seminarians, (some of whom are priests today) the Religious and lay adults wounded by sexual abuse and exploitation by clerics.
What help, if any, has been given to the (now) priest victims of McCarrick or to the Sisters so badly abused by Rupnik?
The dissolution of the Ignatius Community by Rome hurt more than helped those Sisters. To whom shall they go?
Some seminarians and those in formation have left the Church over lack of interest and response by bishops and Superiors.
This involves not even the willingness to listen to those wounded.
The attitude seems to be "You're a priest or Religious, get over it and pray it away."
I personally have witnessed two bishops, (in separate circumstances), who on hearing personal stories of abuse by clerics perpetrated on seminarians or Religious simply "ghost" the stories. They seemed not to hear what was told to them. It was like the stories had never been spoken.
While the bishops were not the Ordinaries of the priests involved, as many situations were historical cases, the lack of compassion, whether from revulsion or "compassion fatigue" contributes to the festering of wounds.
One Sister left such a conversation in tears. Fortunately, while the bishop ignored her recounting of her experience newly elected Superiors listened (as previous ones did not). These true "Mothers" comforted and got Sister counselling. These Superiors gathered other Sisters to accompany the Sister who suffered the abuse.
Lack of listening and worse, ignoring the suffering, is not helpful for healing; anger and pain remains.
I wonder whether the "compassion fatigue" is in part the result of having (or acting like they have) nothing to offer except compassion.
How many clerics/religious/laymen are aware of what is needed to heal or how the healing process goes? If the attitude is "get over it and pray it away", you can be pretty sure those people haven't got a clue, but likewise if the only thing offered is "I am so sorry". It's really tiring to be compassionately impotent, especially if you have reason to think you ought to do more.
Bishops and priests are spiritual fathers, not management. It seems like they ought to know something about binding up wounds, even if they aren't trauma experts. And if they don't know, given that the country has upwards of 1 in 4 people who've been sexually abused at this point, probably they should learn.
> They seemed not to hear what was told to them.
That's so odd, and I'm trying to pattern-match (against pathologies I have met) in order to understand, but failing. Are these bishops who seem otherwise mentally healthy and who seem able to experience empathy in most other circumstances? I guess it doesn't matter whether I understand, since (this is the crazy thing about prayer) there is technically nothing that I can do that I would be able to do better by understanding.
Victim-survivors abused as adults have told me that Victim Assistance Coordinators have not been prepared to assist them. Some progress has been made in reaching out to those abused as children - there's much work to do in preventing abuse of adults and supporting their healing.
My diocese had a day where all the parishes talked about it and encouraged abuse victims to contact the appropriate person in our diocese. My deacon encouraged me to call, so I did. They told me to call child protective services so I did.
I think we have to have some compassion for bishops and priests who are confronted with the sex abuse scandal constantly.
You mentioned that it was in a public place , probably after Mass when many people are waiting to speak to a bishop and that the abusers were not under the direction of that bishop.
We all have to be sensitive to time and place when discussing personal wounds and problems, and we can not tell every person or priest we meet about them.
I am sure many priest and bishops feel the strain of trying to address these wounds in a charitable and pastoral way.
I imagine abuse victims get a “not the time or place” response quite often. Access to a conversation with a bishop or someone in a position to reach the competent authority might only be in such a public setting.