Talina Lindsey never expected to homeschool her youngest son.
Her three older children all attended Catholic schools in the Diocese of San Diego, and she loved her job teaching at the local parish school.
But then the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and Lindsey found herself at home with her family.
Amid that family time, Lindsey says the Lord spoke to her—specifically, on March 20, 2020, while she watched her son play in the backyard.
As she watched her then 10-year-old son Avelino run around with a sword in hand, Lindsey says she decided that she was missing her personal calling—to be a full-time mother. When she took that to prayer, Lindsey decided the Lord was inviting her to take a leap of faith—to homeschool her youngest son.
“COVID was the first time I just got to sit and watch my son play,” Lindsey told The Pillar. “I was so into my career, serving my students and really ignoring my family.”
“I was watching my son in the backyard playing, and I just looked at him. Right then, the Lord spoke to me for the first time, because I allowed him to.”
“The Lord showed me that the world was spinning really fast, and I was spinning right along with it, focused on career, money, and status. In that moment, He showed me my son, and He revealed to me that my number one vocation was to be a mother and wife.”
“I always thought homeschooling was super weird. I always worried about those kids, especially socially,” Lindsey said. “But the Lord told me that I needed to pull my son out of school, which was the school where I taught, so that was really hard. But I needed to homeschool him.”
“He deserved a full-time mom, and I realized also that God created him with unique gifts and talents that weren't being nurtured as they should at his school.”
When Lindsey and her husband began a new chapter of family life, they stepped into an emerging trend — among Catholics, and more broadly among Americans.
Across the U.S., a growing number of families are choosing to homeschool their children, for a variety of reasons. The Census Bureau estimates that there are presently 3.4 million homeschooled children in the U.S. more than double the 1.7 million children in Catholic schools. .
Analysis from The Pillar estimates that there is one Catholic child being homeschooled for every three enrolled in Catholic schools.
Homeschooling has not always been a significant forcee in U.S. education. In the 1970s, the modern homeschooling movement emerged and slowly gained popularity. By 1997, there were more than 1 million students being homeschooled.
Homeschooling looks different for every child and family. Some families design their own programs, some make use of online curricula or other school programs; and many participate in some form of homeschooling co-op, by which families cooperate together to offer supplemental instruction.
In recent weeks, homeschooling has made headlines in Catholic circles, after The Pillar reported that the Diocese of San Diego has decided homeschool groups could no longer use parish property for co-op meetings.
So why do families homeschool? What impact does it have on children? And what does homeschooling really look like?
‘I’m grateful’
When Elizabeth Miller arrived at Benedictine College last year, she knew a bit less about what to expect than even a typical college freshman.
The only classmates she had ever known were her five siblings, and her mom had been her primary school teacher.
“I was scared when I arrived at Benedictine, but honestly, it’s been an easy and super smooth transition,” Miller told The Pillar. “My education growing up prepared me a lot better for the more classical education that is offered here.”
Miller’s parents homeschooled their five children from kindergarten through the end of high school.
“My parents wanted to protect me from the outside world. They wanted me to be raised in my faith and not have all the outside influences,” Miller said.
“I was spared from a lot of things that I don't think kids should know about, like the transgender and LGBTQ movement. I didn't know what that was until much later. I saw people for who they were. I had a very classical education, and I am very grateful for that.”
While homeschooled, Miller participated in a local co-op, went on field trips with children from the local parish, and took dual-enrollment courses through the local community college while in high school.
Miller emphasized to The Pillar that she and her siblings participated in extracurricular activities, like playing in a local co-op band and in team sports. Through those experiences, Miller found a vibrant community of friends, she said, including other homeschoolers..
“I was part of the band and orchestra, and I also played soccer, which helped me to meet a lot of people and make friends,” Miller said. “I was also part of a co-op, and we met every Thursday, and we had basically the equivalent of a school Mass and then afterwards we’d always go on a field trip which was a highlight of the week because I got to hang out with my friends.”
But the sports, field trips and band practices never fully satisfied Miller’s social desires, she said. And once she got a cell phone, she found herself becoming jealous of the kids that attended the local Catholic and public schools.
“Growing up homeschooled was a struggle because I didn’t see the outside perspective on what public school really was like; all I saw were kids having fun and being in the classroom. Learning from my mom all day, every day seemed like a burden,” Miller said.
Now that Miller is in college, though, her perspective has changed.
Miller said she looks back on 13 years of homeschool education with gratitude, thankful that her formation centered on the faith and a classical education.
“Now that I'm in college and I've seen what public schools are like and what they are teaching, I'm grateful that I was homeschooled because I was able to learn things that I was more interested in and that were rooted in the faith,” Miller said. “I had a much more personal education because I had that one-on-one instruction with my mom and we were able to dive into subjects a lot deeper.”
An education trifecta
Joe Green, a junior at Benedictine College, has had a lot of educational experiences to compare.
Green was homeschooled from kindergarten through 5th grade, attended a Catholic middle school, and then went to a public high school.
“I am definitely glad I went to school. I don't think I would have wanted to be homeschooled all the way through high school,” Green told The Pillar.
Growing up in Ponder, Texas, an hour north of Fort Worth, Green said he loved being homeschooled as a kid.
He built strong relationships with his siblings, loved the flexibility homeschooling offered, and felt that he received a very personalized education.
“I loved being homeschooled,” Green said. “There was a very strong Catholic community and a lot of homeschoolers in the area, so having that kind of support was nice.”
“I loved the flexibility because we could do extra lessons one day, then the next day my siblings and I would go out to the creek and go fishing or do something fun all day.”
Today, Green continues to appreciate the two greatest gifts he says homeschooling gave him -- a strong relationship with his siblings and a deep spiritual life.
“All my siblings were two years apart each, so we grew up pretty tight knit as we would work on school together,” Green said. “There's definitely some great aspects of homeschooling, my parents really instilled the faith in us and were able to form us in a more intentional way than if I was sent off to school.”
By the time he reached 6th grade, though, it was time for a change. Green’s parents decided it was time that their children begin attending the local Catholic school.
The transition was mostly smooth; the major hiccup came when Green realized he could no longer set his own schedule.
“It was a lot different,” Green said ”The only idea I had of a traditional school setting was from TV shows. There weren't too many struggles. The hardest adjustment was getting used to the daily grind, because I couldn’t have those days where I just skipped school and did the fun stuff. So going to school day in, day out was kind of hard to adjust to.”
The easiest part, though? Catechism class.
When religion was taught, Green found himself speeding through worksheets and knew the answer to all of the teacher’s questions.
“I would get in trouble with the teacher because she would hand us our homework and she'd be explaining the homework, and I would already have it all filled out, because it was like the same book that we used homeschooling,” Green said.
“The religion classes and formation were more basic than what my mom was teaching us. It didn't have the same depth; it was more generic.”
As high school approached, Green’s parents decided to send him to a public school, as there were no good options for a local Catholic high school. There, Green encountered new people and experiences.
“If I had the opportunity to go to a really solid Catholic school, I would have loved to have that opportunity because going to the public school, I fell in with the wrong crowd,” Green said.
“I had a bunch of degenerate friends, and we did the typical high school things—drinking, smoking, that kind of stuff.”
Though he made some mistakes in high school, Green said he believes that his high school experience prepared him for more of life — and that he thinks homeschooling families should consider at least a few years of outside-the-home schooling.
“If you homeschool a kid their entire life, I think in a way, you're kind of setting them up for failure,” Green said. “If you're just sheltered by your parents in a homeschool setting your entire life, you will be thrown out to the wolves in college, especially if you go to a state school where they're getting told all kinds of different things from all different kinds of worldviews. It can be overwhelming.”
After four years at a public school, when Green arrived at Benedictine College to play football, he found himself diving right back into his Catholic faith. He believes that the faith formation he received while homeschooled laid a strong foundation that will be with him his entire life.
“Homeschooling really set a strong foundation for the rest of my life because I went astray a little bit in high school, but coming to Benedictine, I could pick right back up where I was because I had that base,” Green said
Homeschool-to-priest pipeline?
Looking back on his homeschool experience, Fr. Joe Martin, a recently ordained priest of the Archdiocese of St. Louis, says his 12 years of homeschooling laid a strong foundation for both his faith life and his vocation.
“It was a particular option that worked well for our family, that allowed us to flourish, you know. So, yes, I mean, for me personally, absolutely, homeschooling was critical,” Martin told The Pillar. “Homeschooling helped me form a good conscience and foster a love and a loyalty to the sacraments, especially Mass on Sunday and regular confession.”
“That gave me a good foundation for college and helped me to have a deeper conversion in college.”
Data suggests that homeschooling has an outsized impact on recent vocations. According to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate, 11% of recently ordained priests and 14% of recently professed religious had been homeschooled for at least part of their educational formation.
Martin told The Pillar that his own experience leads him to believe that homeschooled seminarians and priests bring some unique gifts to the Church.
“These guys have an innocence that is a gift from God and is also a gift for the whole Church,” Father Martin said.
“There is a frankness and a simplicity and a joyful freedom that they have because of the sacrifices that their family made to homeschool them and to really create a loving and grace-filled home environment.”
Martin said he thinks homeschooling has an outsize influence on priestly vocations is in part because the families who choose it are the types who foster faith and piety, regardless of their educational choices.
“There might be a little bit of a selection bias among homeschoolers because of the intentionality, sacrifice, and faith and trust in God that homeschooling requires,” Martin offered.
“You're already dealing with a special type of Catholic parent. If they have, for the right reasons and a positive desire to follow God, made the decision to homeschool, then you are dealing with parents who've received a lot of grace.”
Since beginning his own first parish assignment two months ago, Martin said he has encountered around a dozen homeschool families at his parish, St. Joseph in Cottleville, Missouri, the largest parish in the Archdiocese of St. Louis.
When talking to homeschooling parents, Martin has noticed a common theme — many of them see homeschooling as a vocation, a way to serve the Lord.
“These parents feel called to homeschool; they're doing it out of a positive desire, not out of fear,” Martin said. “They are getting together to do a co-op with different offerings, then they're also praying and having retreats for the moms they are offering morning and evenings of reflections.
“These families do not have beef with the school. They just realized it doesn't fit their family.”
‘The Lord is the one who is in charge’
Like many parents, Talina Lindsey sees homeschooling as a vocation, a calling to help her form her children so that they can discover their own vocation.
“The Lord showed me that it was my job to recognize, nurture, and encourage his gifts so that my son could live the life that he was created to live,” Lindsey said.
“The Lord is the one who is in charge, and so we're going to listen to him. Discernment was new to me as of 2020, I never knew that I should be asking God what to do.”
After sending her older kids to Catholic schools, homeschooling seemed completely foreign to Lindsey. And when she decided to start, her family and friends thought that she was crazy.
“Some families that we are friends with still don't understand homeschooling and that we are letting the Lord guide us. They're worried that we don't have a plan for our son,” Lindsey said. “But I feel really free, and I am really confident that the Lord's going to guide us to know what's best for our son.”
So far, Lindsey has no regrets.
She believes that the Lord asked her to undertake this challenge and that it was the right thing for her son Avelino.
“The times are changing in a really rapid way, especially in California, with the state pushing for devaluing the family and the faith,” Lindsey said. “We needed to support our son when the society around him is screaming non-Catholic values.”
“We don't want to shield him from the society around him, but he needs to be the light, and we believe that means we need to be the ones guiding him.”
In five years of homeschooling Avelino, the Lindseys say they have seen significant growth in his spiritual life, especially as he has begun to see himself as an evangelical witness.
“His faith is really strong. He's now a core team leader at his youth group, and they interviewed almost 100 kids, and they said that he scored in the top 10,” Lindsey said.
“For him to be now in this leadership position where he's on stage with a microphone, leading kids in their faith, is the most valuable thing.”
“Before we started homeschooling, our whole focus was on getting our kids into a four-year university and launching their career, but now we know our goal as parents is to help our kids get to heaven.”
That worldview shift did not occur overnight. But it began with the Lindseys spending time with other homeschool parents through their local parish and joining the parish’s co-op.
“If I didn't have the Catholic homeschooling community that we found, I don't think that I would have been able to make the jump and homeschool, because I would have felt really alone,” Lindsey said.
“They have given me ideas; they've given me the confidence boost that I could do this. They have given me support, and they have given both my son and myself friendship.”
That community has extended its reach beyond the homeschool families into the broader parish community. Mothers who send their children to the local Catholic school frequently attend social events hosted by the homeschool parents, and all of the children would play together after Mass, Lindsey said.
“The moms of kids who go to school will show up at our moms’ retreats or some of our events, and they say something like: ‘Sorry, I'm just pretending I'm a homeschooler because I want to hang out with you.’ We're open to anyone.”
“We are trying to do our best, and we know that God hasn't called all of us or He doesn't allow all of us, or our situations don't allow all of us, to homeschool. So we want to be intermingled with the rest of the parishioners.”
Until recently, Lindsey’s homeschool group gathered weekly for classes held at the local parish, and many would gather after daily Mass to talk or head to the local park.
“Within that community, they did weekly park days, which we never missed, because I knew my son needed social interaction. They held a co-op at the church, which I taught at, and he ran around and had friends and learned with his friends,” Linsdey said.
“It wasn't like in my old life, where kids got dropped off and the family left, but here, the mothers talked and supported one another, and all the kids of all ages played and learned together.”
But now, those meetings at the parish are over, at least for now.
Last month, the Diocese of San Diego promulgated a policy establishing that homeschool groups would no longer be able to use parish facilities.
Since the surprising announcement, Lindsey’s homeschool group has come together to support one another and find new solutions to continue educating their children.
“We are on hold and we are waiting,” Lindsey said. “We are continuing our ministry in homes. We have a monthly rosary that we are doing in different homes. We've had a lot of teen events where we brought in a speaker on theology of the body, and we met at someone's backyard around a bonfire.”
“We are doing more in the home, which is beautiful, but it’s sad that after daily Mass we cannot go over to the parish hall. We have to go somewhere else.”
Homeschooling families across the diocese were shocked and saddened by the announcement, but, for Lindsey, it wasn’t a complete surprise.
Lindsey said that since the beginning of the academic year, new restrictions and rent hikes suggested that a broader policy change was imminent.
“There had been some weird signs since August, such as that there started to be a lot of restrictions to how we could operate as a co-op class,” Lindsey said. “Our [rent] went up a lot.”
“So we started to look at other parishes to meet at for our homeschool co-op. At first, there were a couple of parishes that expressed interest in hosting us. Then all of a sudden, we were getting no response, like we were in the middle of a few contracts, and all of a sudden, the communication just stopped.”
The warning signs did not mitigate the pain and shock when parents received notification that their co-ops could no longer gather at the parish. Parents were left feeling confused, wondering the motives behind the diocese’s announcement.
“There was hurt, a lot of hurt, and we are just wondering why we were being targeted,” Lindsey said. “We are trying to do what we think is right according to our faith, but we are being excluded from our own church.”
“The Church says that the parents are the primary educators of their children. We are trying to do what the Church wants us to do and what God wants us to do.”
While finding new places to host the co-op, the parents have faced another pressing issue: what do they tell their children?
“Some of the parents are shielding their children from the news because the kids who do know the story have reacted with a lot of sadness and confusion,” Lindsey said. “We don't want them to think of the Church as not opening their arms to them and big families, because that's going to give them the wrong idea of the Church.”
Lindsey and her husband opted to not share the details with Avelino, deciding that the news would do more harm than good.
“I didn’t tell my son a lot of it, because I don't want him to be turned off to the Church. That's the last thing I want him to do,” Lindsey said.
“It has been tough, especially on the kids, because we can't explain to them why they do not have co-op anymore. Since these kids are homeschooled, that's their main social thing, so not having the co-op how it used to be has been really upsetting for the children.”
Amidst the hurt and confusion, hope exists. Parents are hopeful that Cardinal Robert McElroy will realize the good that comes from homeschooling and reverse the policy in the coming weeks.
Parents have been working to garner support for their cause from a variety of sources. They have been communicating with local priests, asking them to talk to the cardinal on their behalf.
After local consultation, the HomeSchool Legal Defense Association sent a letter to McElroy advocating for a policy reversal.
“I do think that we're being targeted, and that's why we're so confused, because we're really thinking that we're doing the right thing,” Lindsey said.
“I'm personally hoping the cardinal realizes that the homeschooling community is not a threat to Catholic schools.”
“It's actually in support of the Church, and it’s what the Church is supposed to be.”
